jbentley

We have dozens of conversations every day but how many of those feel like genuinely meaningful interactions? In an age when we are more likely to communicate digitally rather than face-to-face, we often miss out on building real connections and can find ourselves struggling with uncomfortable small talk in the real world.

Chatting with friends might be effortless but it’s not always that easy when it comes to work colleagues or clients. Even when we have a close emotional connection with someone, such as a partner or family member, we have to work at ensuring we communicate effectively.

We’ve put together some simple tips to help you have more meaningful, empowering and memorable conversations – no matter who you are talking to.

 

1) Listen holistically 

The most important part of a conversation is listening. Listening isn’t just about using your ears! To really listen, we need to tap into four senses and absorb what the other person is saying, rather than just hear the words.

Visual – observe the non-verbal cues such as facial expressions and gestures
Auditory – listen to the words carefully, think about the context behind them, and the meaning for that person.
Kinaesthetic – consider what feelings the person is experiencing at that moment. What is happening to their energy? Tune in and feel the emotions in what they are saying.
Intuition – this is our ‘6th sense’, and one we don’t use very well. Listen to your gut instincts and be guided on the bigger picture.

2) Be Curious

Ask open questions and avoid giving advice. Too often we are busy waiting for the other person to draw breath, so we can jump in and add our point. That means we’re not really listening and may often miss the full scale of what is being said,as well as subtle non-verbal cues.

With a curious mind, you will learn to ask more questions and make fewer assumptions about what is being said. This will greatly improve the flow of conversation and ensure you are paying attention.

3) Be Non-judgemental

Try not to judge someone for their views or how they are feeling. You may not agree with them but you don’t always know the circumstances which have led them to that position. When you come from a place of compassion and understanding, communication improves.

Don’t push your views onto the other person. Use questions to find out more about their perspective and keep an open mind – that way you can generate open discussion rather than defensiveness.

4) Gain Clarity

We often make assumptions about what people know and understand, so we miss out detail and important background information. Check your understanding often throughout the conversation by paraphrasing what the other person has said. This gives them a chance to correct any misunderstandings and also demonstrates that you are actively listening to them.

Make sure you pause to allow time for information to be processed by each person and to formulate your thoughts.

---

I can help you develop your confidence and communication skills to build stronger connections and improved collaboration.

Contact me to arrange a free 20-minute discovery call 07935 976636 www.enlightminds.co.uk

I began my Reiki Journey about three years ago with my Reiki Master Tina Herring, since then I have  experienced the most amazing awakening.  I was very much someone who lived in the head, I was unaware of how I felt, I was disconnected from my body and I was hurting inside. What Reiki opened up for me was true transformation.  I discovered myself again. I learnt that all of my Chakra were out of balance

 

What is Reiki?

 

How does it work?

 

What are the benefits?

 

How much does it cost?

In the UK Reiki costs between £40-£60.

My charges are £20 for 30 minutes of Reiki and £40 for 60 minutes of Reiki

We’ve changed, haven’t we?

We’ve come a long way from old sexist and fascist views,

We’ve made lots of changes, you can see in the news,

We’ve stood up to racism and discrimination too,

We’ve accepted all those of colour, and those less able than you,

We’ve changed our laws and taught our kids,

What was once before, is now forbid.

We’ve spoken out on streets and online forums,

We’ve rallied and protested with good will and decorum,

We’ve called out and challenged all their opinions,

We’ve got support groups and networks to break free of dominion.

But you are a fool to think we’re done, as the battle were fighting is yet to be won…

The problem today is its harder to see, the issues we have to just let people be,

So listen close as I spell it out, there’s still work to be done, without a doubt.

We’ve got mental health on the incline, and suicide rates rise,

Not to mention eating disorders of all types, and addictions are rife.

We’ve got fear mongering media and power-hungry leaders,

Telling people what to think so hate comes through the breeders

We’ve got people trying to be strong,

Ignoring true emotions as they are so wrong.

We’ve got hate and assault towards different communities,

I ask myself daily, where’s the unity?

We’ve got rape, domestic violence, and arranged marriages in families,

If you can’t be safe there, then where, we assume it only happens down dark alleys.

We’ve got girls who must wear skirts, and boys who must have short hair

And don’t forget pink for a girl, and blue for a boy, I cry with despair

We have gender pay gaps, and not enough women in senior roles,

We’ve got dads not taking paternity leave as the system is full of holes.

We’ve got kids who can’t cope with a changing world,

As the adults don’t see that the old ways need to be hurled.

We’ve got a society that thinks we’ve moved on, that the problem is solved,

and that their responsibilities for change are now dissolved.

I salute the brave souls who have stood together throughout history to create change,

to those who have pushed the boundaries and didn’t conform with the deranged.

But we can’t stop now, were only half way there,

Acceptance is our goal, for us all to feel whole, only then will we be free from a world under control.

Jessica Bentley. 2018

1) Know the message you want deliver.  What do you want your listener to walk away with?

2) To be confident, remember to breath.  A few deep breaths will make all the difference to your state of mind.

3) Remove your ego… It’s not about you; it’s about your listener and your job is to look after them.

4) Ignore distractions.  Pretend they are not there as they don’t matter.  Talk to the ones who are listening as if you get distracted by distractions, then you lose the attention of the listeners too.

5) Have fun! No one wants to listen to someone who is boring, so add a sprinkle of your personality